As I sit here at my desktop, I am looking at massive amounts of laundry and dirty dishes piled high. I know…I know…. I should be cleaning and getting ready for my children to get home but I want to write. Or maybe I want to avoid cleaning. Today as it is raining and pouring I am reminded of an incident I had as a new mommy.
It was raining like it is today and I needed to go to the grocery store. The cupboards were bare and my daughter’s class was waiting on the cupcakes for the class party that I agreed to bring so off I went. My children at the time were 9, 2 ½ , and 1(this was before my youngest son was born). My nine year old was at school and I took the other two children to the store. In the store, my beautiful and lovely babies began to act as if we had never been out in public. My 2 ½ year old started getting undressed ( shirt, shoes, and socks) and my 1 year old cried unmercifully through the store. I had to shop because I promised the cupcakes to the PTA and there was no food at my house. Mostly, I refused to admit I needed to regroup.
I was visibly shaken and began to cry. YES! I cried in front of Kroger on JFK as I saw the rain was not going to let up and I had to unload these groceries and babies, I was just…ummm… it was too much. But, I managed it. As we rode, the children fell asleep, wouldn’t you know it? I arrived at the school with the cupcakes. I unloaded my children and went to the classroom. I know you are wandering where are the groceries? I forgot they were in the car (oops!). I went to the office to drop off the cupcakes , walked them to the class, and to my surprise there were 100 other types of cupcakes there. What? Are you serious?
What did I learn? I learned to be organized when I go in the store every time. Even when I am organized I will overspend sometimes and there will be chaos if my children, even now, are with me so I remain calm. I don’t shop when I am in a hurry and have somewhere else to be. I later found that if my children were tired, sick, or cranky, we need to come back later. I also learned that I can say N-O. I can say no to the teacher and my children when I can’t do something. I am not the only parent who was called and now I realize I would not have offended anyone by simply saying “I can’t do it.”.
Use this: I found I can’t say no to people face-to-face so I learned a great technique at a conference I went to once upon a time. When someone asks me to participate I don’t say no right away if I really can’t participate. I say, “Let me check my calendar” or “Can I get back with you?”. I write it and their number down on a piece of paper, an index card, or put it in my phone. When I get home, I call them and politely decline. It seems shady but I really do ponder over it before I decide I can participate. If I can I say yes but If I must say no, I call as soon as I know I can’t do it.
What happened to the food? As I was sitting in the classroom, I remembered and jetted out to the car like a bat out of hell to run home. It all worked out but I learned to be organized and plan for cupcakes.
This is not a race….relax and enjoy the ride.
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