When “Mean Girls” Grow Up

We have seen and known children have been bullied for years. But what about adults? Mean girls grow up and become mean women. Bullying boys become bullying men.

 When mean girls grow up they are the women who create hostile work environments. These same women are the women that dare you to be yourself at home, at work, or at play. The walk around  looking “mad” for no reason. They lie and create chaos. These women doubt everyone’s actions and motives.

Truthfully, can you blame them for being mean?

Mean women  are a result of what we don’t tell them when they are mean little girls. If this behavior is not addressed and corrected very early it only gets worse.

Are you a grown up “mean girl”?

 Do you watch other people and only find fault in them?
Do you look at other women and roll your eyes?
Are you irritated by people who are individuals?
Are you the person that others are afraid of crossing?
Do you apologize when you are wrong?
Do people feel comfortable approaching you?
Do others fear you or respect you?
Do you want others to fear you?

 If you are a grown up version of a mean girl, you are increasing the chances that your daughter will be a mean girl. Parents have to make sure not to be bullies to their children. Children are taught how to treat others. It is a mother and father’s responsibility to make sure that the children know how to be good friends.You have the power to change this behavior in yourself and in your daughter(s).

Try a few simple  changes:

Ask yourself “why am I mean?”- Be Honest!
Become more understanding
Respect people’s right to be different
Smile at people when they approach you
Speak in a kind tone of voice
Ask your friends for honest feedback
If you have “mean” friends, make new friends
Talk to your daughter(s) about what you are trying to change
Ask them to help you

We will never rid the world of mean people. But, we all have “light bulb” moments in our life. I have learned that making a few changes in my thinking and behavior helps other people treat me better.

I am constantly learning to self evaluate. It is okay for my daughters to see me growing and ever evolving as a women. It shows them I can be vulnerable and I am not perfect. Watching me tackle big issues and talking about it gives them permission to do the same.